Story Time

About 5 years ago I was talking to my sister, Sarah. I guess first, I should give a little back story. I had been whining about boys and what terrible horrible mouth breathing fools they were. I hated them all and I was giving them up for good. I always took the time to get ready, straighten my hair, put on makeup, wear the least terrible looking thing I had in my closet, and still, the boy of my dreams (and there were many dreams, so it's really not the heartbreaking story I thought it was at the time...I can't even remember who's attention I was bemoaning not getting) would not give me the time of day. I could wear a meat suit made of bacon, and he probably wouldn't have looked my way. (Thank goodness Lady Gaga wasn't around at the time to inspire me). Something had to be wrong with me.

Anyway, back to my sister, Sarah. I asked her to tell me a story. Starting my story like this makes it sound like I was 5 years old, but I wasn't. I was at least...4 times that. (Saying this phrase reminds me of Derek Zoolander's Center For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too) So she told me this story, or something close to it.

One day there was a beautiful princess named Jackie. Jackie loved boys. She loved them so much, she wanted one of her very own. She dressed up in her finest attire and went to the mall. She walked her walk and talked her talk. No boys talked to her. She put on her cutest prom dress and did all the makeup tricks she learned at Dillard's over the weekend, and went to the movies and tried to look available. No boys talked to her. She went to the palace gardens in her finest ball gown. No boys talked to her. After the palace gardens, Jackie had had enough. She took off her makeup, put on her favorite soccer shorts and a t-shirt and went to the royal video store to get a movie. While she was looking through the videos, she went for her favorite, Better Off Dead (why she didn't own this hour and a half of hilarity, no one can be sure), her hand brushed the hand of a very handsome man going for the exact same 80's cult movie. He told her she was the most beautiful Better Off Dead fan he'd ever met. He asked her if she wanted watch the movie together on a date. She said yes, of course. They fell in love and got married and had pretty babies. The End.

Well, a few months later, after this lovely little story, I was done trying to impress everyone. I planned a group hike, everyone said they would come. The day before the hike, everyone cancelled on me except for one. A boy I had barely met for a few minutes at an activity that was here for the summer before going off to BYU after his mission. His name was Evan Ottesen. He was cute, but probably interested in my friend, so I didn't think anything of it. Having decided that I was done trying to impress people, I left for the hike makeup-less in my favorite soccer shorts and a t-shirt. Evan and I totally ended up hitting it off. We like similar music, he was funny, he wasn't awkward (surprising, since he had just come off the mission), he was polite and really fun to be around. He bought me lunch after the hike and made the day a date. I came home from the hike to find my sisters hanging out in the kitchen. I remember Sarah looking at me and saying, "you went on a hike with that guy looking like that?" Yes, I did. And we fell in love and got married. No pretty babies yet, but the rest of the prophecy was fulfilled, I'm sure the rest will come eventually.